Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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