You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
