is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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