Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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