it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize