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I hate all girls vehemently.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
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