There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.