"it" just moved
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned