I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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