Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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