I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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