I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
