the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
