i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
