toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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