party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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