i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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