Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer