New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?