Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...