Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.