jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
