wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
