first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize