In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can I color on your dick again?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
