i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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