I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize