If i come over, it means nothing
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
