We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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