I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize