Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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