Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize