some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
