Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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