I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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