Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The feeling are messing with the penis
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
