who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
