Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
