glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
