Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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