Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
