love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
