Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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