Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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