i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
