I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
