Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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