She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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