I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I showed him my bush... on skype.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
