Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
