You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
