I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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