I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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