i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize