Are we in a gay sports bar?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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