my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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