We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
