you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
