dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
