i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
